tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14016145168555933802024-03-05T08:11:03.775-05:00Losing A Furry ChildAbout Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09365410120003862020noreply@blogger.comBlogger13125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1401614516855593380.post-1820104491692755422021-07-25T13:20:00.001-04:002021-07-25T13:24:12.331-04:00Another Sunday 7 weeks now <p><span style="font-family: helvetica;"> My baby, I am still in such pain from your passing. I don’t cry as much but I’m missing you today as I do every day. The toughest time is coming home and you’re not here and going to bed at night and you’re not on the pillow next to me. Even though, I continue to move forward with a part of my heart missing. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: helvetica;">It’s almost like I’m in this movie that I’m acting out hoping it’s not real but sadly it is reality. I continue to put one foot in front of the other and allow myself the tears when they come and feel the pain and know that it is getting better day by day. My tears now fill minutes not hours. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: helvetica;">Roxie the pain of you not being here, oh my god, that is still very tough. I love you and miss you with all my heart and I still have this little part of me that hopes I’m gonna wake up and you’re still here. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: helvetica;">But thinking of you my baby, keeps you close to my heart. In those times, </span><span style="font-family: helvetica;">it feels like you’re still here and I’m grateful for those moments.</span></p><p><br /></p>About Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09365410120003862020noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1401614516855593380.post-40312854428313752512021-07-13T15:32:00.002-04:002021-07-13T15:36:21.639-04:00Spoke too soon <p><span style="font-family: helvetica;"> I got up on Monday morning and some thing I looked at triggered a memory and I was off and crying again, feeling that pain again. I told myself to allow my heart to feel the feelings. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: helvetica;">It was a great example of how this grieving process doesn't have an expiration date. It’s a process and some days you do good and you think oh I’m really getting better and then other days it’s like the first day all over again and you cry and you hurt and you’re in pain. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: helvetica;">However the times in between seem to be a bit longer. I’m hopeful, that with time those moments, won’t be as often as they are now. I suspect that when a memory gets triggered the pain will slap you unexpectedly, and you have to be patient with yourself, minimize expectations, embrace another round of grief and remember it’s part of the process. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: helvetica;">You will work through it, as painful as it may be. Have hope, faith and believe the current feelings will lessen, at least till the next time. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: helvetica;">I believe this experience is making me a stronger more empathetic person and able to offer hope to others like those who have suffered before me, offered hope to me.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: helvetica;">My thoughts are with you. </span></p><p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: "Avenir Next", sans-serif; font-size: 1.6875rem; font-style: italic; margin: 0px 0px 2rem; text-align: center;">“Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.”</p><p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: "Avenir Next", sans-serif; font-size: 1.6875rem; font-style: italic; margin: 0px 0px 2rem; text-align: center;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box;">– Vicki Harrison</span></p>About Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09365410120003862020noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1401614516855593380.post-53730416921749711012021-07-11T13:26:00.002-04:002021-07-11T13:26:54.553-04:00Five weeks tomorrow and finally the pain has lessened a tiny bit<p><span style="font-family: helvetica;">I have gone through a few days now with only a bit of tears instead of a flood every day. I almost feel like I am betraying her memory by not crying every day. Am I forgetting her? My thoughts seem to go in many different directions. I wonder about how I got here, since it seemed like i would never feel peace or the beginning of a mending heart again. <br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: helvetica;">I still have my moments, but the pain is less severe. Its still there but not as intense. My heart feels like its beginning to heal. I kiss her urn good morning and good night and occasionally talk to her during the day as if she was here. I do feel sad and miss her terribly and wish this was all a bad dream. At those moments it feels like a knife pierces my heart. But amazingly I survive. <br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: helvetica;">I am hopeful that someday I may love another furry baby again. For now I still grieve my baby with all my heart and of course the tears are flowing now that I am talking about it. <br /><br />Today I will send love to her and remember and cherish her memory and our wonderful times together and hope the universe with its amazing synchronicity regarding matters of the heart will find the perfect timing for me to share my life again with a furry child. <br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: helvetica;">Blessings to you all </span><br /></p>About Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09365410120003862020noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1401614516855593380.post-65814819087941947652021-07-03T10:18:00.000-04:002021-07-03T10:18:12.469-04:00Almost a month <p><span style="font-family: helvetica;">July 5 it will be a month since my precious furry baby is gone. Tears fill my eyes, amazingly the pain isn't as severe as it was. I think I am going to live. The last four weeks I didn't want to live or go on without her, the pain and the loss so great. <br /><br />I have been reading, talking and sharing my grief with whoever is a willing listener. All of that has helped reduce the pain a tiny bit. Enough that I can breathe and feel hope that i will survive.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: helvetica;">I said to a friend this morning when we were talking about the pain "that's the price we pay for the unconditional love we get and are gifted to give." Of course, tomorrow I could cry all day, but for just today a bit of relief from the overwhelming feelings of intense pain. <br /> <br />I spoke with a friend of mine yesterday who said she still cries over the loss of her Candy and Missy who passed 11 years ago. We did shed some tears together that they are no longer here in our lives. <br /><br />That's all for today, just wanted to share there is hope that time will reduce the pain a tiny bit at a time and enough to breathe and entertain the thought that maybe someday I will open my heart to a furry baby again.</span></p><p><br /></p>About Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09365410120003862020noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1401614516855593380.post-32966400140393544842021-06-27T10:14:00.000-04:002021-06-27T10:14:59.610-04:00Another Sunday and Missing you is all I know how to do <p><span style="font-family: helvetica;">My heart is still so broken, some days I manage to get through with out crying for hours. It seems like mornings are the worst. I tried not to kiss your urn this morning because I would look at your photo and start to cry. But I felt like you were saying why arent you kissing me and I did and I cried and my heart ached and I told you how much I miss you. <br />I heard on the news this morning a girl talking about grief and she said "I just want to go back in time." <br />I thought me too! <br />I knew you were ready, you were having all kinds of health problems but neither of us wanted to let go. <br />So I made the choice best for you and now I am here wishing I could go back in time and hold you again. <br />this is what my life looks like today, thinking of you, crying, trying to move on but every day pulled back into the pain of not having you here in my life. <br />We were best friends and there are so many memories that run through my mind every day. You had a personality that was amazing, funny, loving and my protector. <br />It is so hard to believe and accept you are not here anymore. But the grief process is one that includes all the feelings I am experiencing. It is normal but not pleasant. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: helvetica;">I miss you my darling and always will. Love from my broken heart, MOM</span><br /></p>About Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09365410120003862020noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1401614516855593380.post-63876078279491309542021-06-25T11:56:00.000-04:002021-06-25T11:56:31.788-04:00Changing the Air Filter<p><span style="font-family: helvetica;"> My baby had a collapsing trachea and the vet felt maybe allergies made it worse. Six months ago I went out and purchased on a CC a $300 air filter for the house and she seemed to cough less. It was worth every penny. It was a bit of an expense for me but anything for my furry child. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: helvetica;">Today I had to change the filter, as I did it, I cried, no more like sobbed, as I changed it. I was glad I got it for her and once again I realized she was having health issues for a while. I did all I could to make her comfortable but this last time there was no fixing it. I asked God for a sign and he gave me many that last week so I could know I was doing the right thing. In spite of me saying that there is always that tiny doubt that comes with the what if I tried this or did something differently. That's me not letting go because I was so dependent on her for companionship. Letting her go was an unselfish act, keeping her would have been a selfish act, me letting her suffer so I didn't have to be without her. Yes I did the right thing, but the pain is great and the love and loss of her not being here is even greater. <br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: helvetica;">From what I read that is normal to question but when I am calm and reflect back I know she is no longer, coughing and struggling to breathe but the pain of not having her anymore is so very painful and feels like it will never go away. So today is another one of those days that will come when remembering how much I loved her and wanted to do what I could to help her. <br /><br />It helps me to write this. I feel like even though she is gone physically she is still very present in my heart and daily life. </span><br /></p>About Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09365410120003862020noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1401614516855593380.post-13151455777620064252021-06-25T11:18:00.000-04:002021-06-25T11:18:18.503-04:00Its Sunday and Trying to Keep Busy<p> Each day is a challenge to over come the feelings of emptiness, loss and painful feelings that shes not here anymore, to hold, cuddle, walk and feed. When I think about it the tears come and that heart wrenching pain comes with not having her laying next to my chair or on the pillow on my bed at night. </p><p>I have to tell myself its only been two weeks and it will take time. We were like each others security blanket she came to me if she needed something or was fearful and when I held her she calmed right down and all my anxiety went away comforting her. And if I was having a bad day I would hold her and all was right with the world. <br /><br />I will miss her so much. <br /><br /><br /></p>About Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09365410120003862020noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1401614516855593380.post-60272068439863907132021-06-19T11:44:00.003-04:002021-06-19T11:44:57.861-04:00My Memorial Space for Her<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLYdJEF6nqXJV3j_VxVPV65ExO3XERzn006ZZkIU7inZGp9JvbWhdNe4kmnk5v8w4y_z6W4sVzms2C1GtbrM3czYpdmy0k4CqpMtWdkpOJ5wNpqM5NfvTca6fJhGVvq9oake_E8Y8-Xjsh/s640/IMG_7032.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLYdJEF6nqXJV3j_VxVPV65ExO3XERzn006ZZkIU7inZGp9JvbWhdNe4kmnk5v8w4y_z6W4sVzms2C1GtbrM3czYpdmy0k4CqpMtWdkpOJ5wNpqM5NfvTca6fJhGVvq9oake_E8Y8-Xjsh/s320/IMG_7032.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> <br /></p><p><span style="font-family: helvetica;">Well I have made a memorial area for her. I was on a grief support site and someone shared their picture of what they did and I liked it. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: helvetica;">This is what I made. When I saw the small wooden box with her ashes I thought such a small box for such a big spirit. :-)<br /></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: helvetica;">When I go on line into grief support groups, I know I am not alone in the pain I feel and that so many of us are feeling the heart wrenching pain of letting go of our furry child. Please remember others at this very moment are walking the same path we are walking. <br /><br />It's been 12 days and this is the first day, I have a sense of hope that life will go on and I will find ways to honor her and honor me for being a good pet Mom and find things to help me heal. I will survive the pain and with time maybe even be okay. She will always be in my heart.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: helvetica;">I like an acronym for TIME that someone shared Things I Must Earn</span></p><p><span style="font-family: helvetica;">Cry if you need to, scream into a pillow, write about your baby! <br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: helvetica;">Just allow yourself to feel the feelings because that is what will get us through. <br /><br />I send you all a big comforting hug,<br /></span><br /></p><p></p>About Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09365410120003862020noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1401614516855593380.post-57448758097466898482021-06-17T15:04:00.004-04:002021-06-17T15:28:16.605-04:00My Roxie's Ashes Are Home <p> Well her ashes are home and they are sitting in one of her favorite spots. She loved sitting on the back of the couch and watching for people and animals to bark at, It was like she was saying this is my street or don't come near the house I am protecting my mom. She was ferocious, and was annoyed the window was in the way. I always laughed at her tenaciousness. I think now, I should have video taped it. The woulda, coulda, shoulda's are tearing me apart some days. But in your heart of hearts you don't expect them to leave. I was in denial she would ever die, after all I took such good care of her. Sadly, I realize now, that was denial and a little part of me even wonders if I waited too long to let her go. <br /></p><p><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="480" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiet2d8lnQC8s0XbvsPLhmO0WF5_oBWk9gbPl2KHBX1WDVpmvJw4QGhOVXDQDA1i8wjnpZlKk-NHRnSeEQaiW0VKT71xcBDvJYgc1mgmrc8t37ZnrfN_JSTvCIl8kfpJVSK5CXrPfdflJ3H/s320/ashes.jpg" />A friend told me last night when she brought her dogs ashes home she felt better. So I summoned the courage today to go get her ashes and I am very grateful to my friend for saying that because amazingly, I do feel better. I only had two crying episodes today and that was a small amount of progress. </p><p>I found an article today that I really liked on grieving the loss of a pet. I converted it to a pdf and gave credit to the author and the website where I found it. I hope if your grieving it offers you some comfort. <br /> <br />*** Well Blogger wouldn't let me up load the pdf easily so I put it on my website and I am going to give you a link to the file. Hope it works? Okay, it worked for me you may have to give it permission one more time. </p><p></p><p><a href="https://www.byshashana.com/uploads/1/6/8/9/16890522/mourning_the_loss_of_your_pet.pdf">https://www.byshashana.com/uploads/1/6/8/9/16890522/mourning_the_loss_of_your_pet.pdf</a></p><p>I also got a picture frame today to put her photo in and found a pretty poem about Pomeranian's that I will include in the frame. I write poetry so will eventually write my own poem to her, but for now I need to feel the pain and grieve. This blog is a catharsis, hmmm maybe writing a poem would be too? I will put her harness next to it and hopefully set up a little memorial for her on my shelf. Someone else had a small jar candle on the shelf. I am so grateful to all of you for sharing your pain and offering me ideas and words that encourage me to keep going, also heal and find small ways to honor her memory. <br /><br />This is the first day I haven't spent a few hours crying, I think bringing her home really made a difference, I can still talk to her and keep her close and its a tangible object. <br /><br />It was only June 7 she crossed the rainbow bridge and I hope it helps to hear someone elses journey and in some small way you are comforted and know you are not alone.<br /></p><p> </p><p><br /></p>About Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09365410120003862020noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1401614516855593380.post-60615997160393410532021-06-16T13:01:00.000-04:002021-06-16T13:01:21.363-04:00Do Pets Visit Us After They Are Gone?<p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: helvetica;">Very interesting question. At times, I feel Roxie is still here, the first few days I heard her nails clicking across the floor, I thought I felt her on the bed and the tinkling of her harness. </span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: helvetica;">I think she wanted to let me know she was still with me, if only in spirit. </span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: helvetica;">As I was searching the web for articles to help me through the grief I found the one below. If you experiencing any of the feelings on the list, you may feel comforted to know you are not alone and other people experience it too. </span></span><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: helvetica;"><br /><br />After my grandmother died when I was 19 yo. I felt her presence with me for ten years. I had been a very wild and crazy young woman. I really believed she protected me through those ten years. When I finally got my life together and made some big life changes, it felt like she breathed a sigh of relief and said I can rest now. </span></span><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: helvetica;"><br /><br />I do believe spirits visit us, I have had too many experiences to deny it. But haven't had much experiences with pets so I was struggling with embracing it a 100%. However the first few days after she went over the rainbow bridge I had some experiences that made me rethink my beliefs and I began to embrace the idea. I am up to about 90+% now.😇<br /></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: helvetica;">I believe we are all made of energy, frequency and vibration so its easy to move between the energy fields when you believe that. So, I talk to my Roxie girl when I feel her nearby and if that sounds crazy, so be it, but it makes me still feel connected to my precious furry child. After all she still has my heart. <br /></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: helvetica;">Just another lesson in grieving.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><i><span style="font-family: helvetica;">I am posting part of the blog below with a link in case you want to check it out. It was a random website I found I have no knowledge of the blogs author. But if you think its happening to you, it always helps to know your not crazy and not alone in thinking that way. </span></i><br /><br /></span><span style="font-family: helvetica;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Blessings on your journey of grieving and connecting to your furry child. </span><br /></span></p><p> <br /></p><p><b><i>10 signs your pet is visiting your from the after life</i></b></p><ol data-rte-list="default"><li><p class="" style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><i>You hear their paws walking</i></p></li><li><p class="" style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><i>You smell their scent</i></p></li><li><p class="" style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><i>You hear their collar</i></p></li><li><p class="" style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><i>You hear their voice</i></p></li><li><p class="" style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><i>You feel their presence in bed or on the couch</i></p></li><li><p class="" style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><i>You catch their presence in your peripheral vision</i></p></li><li><p class="" style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><i>You hear their song, a song that reminds you of them, on the radio</i></p></li><li><p class="" style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><i>Happy thoughts of them come in out of the blue when you need cheering</i></p></li><li><p class="" style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><i>You think you feel their fur on your skin when resting</i></p></li><li><p class="" style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><i>You receive a new animal friend shortly after their crossing</i></p></li></ol><p class="" style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><i>The truth is, your pets love you more than you even realize. They are okay with the choices you made because, in reality, you did it together. </i></p><p class="" style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><i>This love and connection continues on into the afterlife.</i></p><p class="" style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><i>Pets are the true epitome of unconditional love and these are just a few ways they display it. For many of us, they teach us how to love from a pure and totally elemental heart. </i></p><p class="" style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><i>So in their transition, we usually open to a greater sense of love. </i></p><p class="" style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><i>As such, many pets continue to guide us in love in the afterlife. Many of them are transitioning to our spirit guide team almost immediately once they reach the other side. </i></p><p class="" style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><i>For more, read on in the blogs below for other spiritual signs your pet is connecting with you,</i></p><p class="" style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><em>Amanda Linette Meder</em></p><p class="" style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><i><a href="http://amandalinettemeder.com"><em>amandalinettemeder.com</em></a></i></p><p><i> </i></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>About Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09365410120003862020noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1401614516855593380.post-19013219083320279052021-06-15T16:49:00.007-04:002021-06-15T16:52:54.848-04:00Crying in the Supermarket <p><span style="font-family: helvetica;"> A friend sent me this poem today (see below) and it seemed to fit in with my grief and my thoughts. I hope it offers you some comfort if you are feeling lost after losing a furry baby. <br /><br />Today was especially rough. I went to pick up some things from the supermarket and they had organic blueberries on sale. I picked them up put them in my cart and the tears came. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: helvetica;">My Roxie loved blueberries. I tried to gain some composure but the produce fella who knows me asked "how are you doing?" More tears as the words choked in my throat that my 16 yo Roxie went over the rainbow bridge.<br /><br />He showed me a picture of his dog and shared he had lost a few over the years. He reassured me it will get better in time. <br /><br />Another girl that worked there had dog sat for me and knew my Roxie and she took one look at me and said "whats wrong?" and I told her about Roxie. She said "Oh no!!! she was such a good dog and had the best life with you.Try to be grateful that you gave her such a good life." </span></p><p><span style="font-family: helvetica;">I continued around the store, trying to keep it together. When I checked out, the girl at the register made the mistake of saying "How are you doing?" (I use to work in the store so i know a lot of the employees). I shared what happened. Turned out she lost her 14 yo Shepard a month ago and her eyes filled up, as we looked at each other, with our eyes brimming with tears, we both knew the pain in our hearts that we were feeling..</span></p><p><span style="font-family: helvetica;">Grief is a process and we feel a variety of emotions each day. I need to allow myself to be human and accept I'm grieving and not judge myself for not meeting my own expectations. <br /><br />Instead i need to be gentle and kind and remind myself its a process and also its okay to cry and feel the pain, even in the supermarket. :-)<br /></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrOObdZWbLa3dfuJCVM4bRZZSfoAwA3M1BMOYFJEAZEw_nxYUZVVZwJkyLs5ftJJkrEMZfk18rvzc1bWuf7ip9DiE9tmAvC9gEekF4O_R37JlUc-5ylcZJtY2zcJKfQZAhVFCd_v7-ar1w/s951/the+moment++you+left+me.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br /><img border="0" data-original-height="951" data-original-width="720" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrOObdZWbLa3dfuJCVM4bRZZSfoAwA3M1BMOYFJEAZEw_nxYUZVVZwJkyLs5ftJJkrEMZfk18rvzc1bWuf7ip9DiE9tmAvC9gEekF4O_R37JlUc-5ylcZJtY2zcJKfQZAhVFCd_v7-ar1w/s320/the+moment++you+left+me.jpg" /></a></div><br />Grief is grief whether a person or a pet or a loss of some kind, it hurts and healing takes time; <br />About Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09365410120003862020noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1401614516855593380.post-36504329563837539412021-06-14T14:25:00.003-04:002021-06-19T12:26:13.617-04:00A Very Painful Loss<p><i> </i><span style="font-family: helvetica;"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-outline-level: 1;"><span style="font-family: helvetica;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i><span>Anyone who’s ever had their beloved pet
pass away knows that losing a dog is one of the hardest things you can go
through. Research shows that saying goodbye to your favorite furry child is just as
hard – if not sometimes more difficult – than the death of a human.</span></i></span><br /> <br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-outline-level: 1;"><span style="font-family: helvetica;"><span>I read that quote and thought wow, Ive had a lot of losses in my life, but I dont remember feeling this kind of pain, since my Mo girl died 17 years ago. I had her 12 years and after grieving her for six months, I said I wont do this again, it was too hard to feel the heartbreaking pain of losing her. </span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-outline-level: 1;"><span style="font-family: helvetica;"><span>But another few months passes and at the prodding of a friend I adopted Roxie. <br /> Mo girl and I were together twelve years, Roxie was with me 16 years. She was my life. I did everything i could to give her a good life. I cooked all her meals, she slept on the pillow next to me. We traveled together. As she got older she had cataracts and couldn't see well at all. But if I got up and moved to another room she was right there a few minutes later looking for me. And if I was in the bathroom and came out it was like I was gone for a few hours and she was so happy to see me. <br /><br />How can you your heart not break knowing you have lost that kind of love and companionship in your life?. </span></span><br /></p>
About Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09365410120003862020noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1401614516855593380.post-16236081568660635472021-06-14T12:27:00.008-04:002021-06-19T12:25:00.934-04:00Heartbreak<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8Dz_lUYT5QC6EZcvV-6Uv_vQqt8pNtyHJbWVJGVUAb0OX8BcaTckQZczcw-ls3fTbEIO-vqdxfo7zEidWrckiPcGDZNgs3FUAwgZ_wATLDTjpdWhXGmWt6bB-N1TLInG59841JrLIcuh_/s450/Roxie+May+31+2021+smaller+size.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="450" data-original-width="361" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8Dz_lUYT5QC6EZcvV-6Uv_vQqt8pNtyHJbWVJGVUAb0OX8BcaTckQZczcw-ls3fTbEIO-vqdxfo7zEidWrckiPcGDZNgs3FUAwgZ_wATLDTjpdWhXGmWt6bB-N1TLInG59841JrLIcuh_/s320/Roxie+May+31+2021+smaller+size.jpg" /></a></div><span style="font-family: helvetica;">Its been a week since I said to the vet "go ahead" and let her go. <br />My choice was to keep my 16 year old Pomeranian alive, put her through a variety of tests, then load her with medications. and when I said "will she have a quality of life?" to the vet, he answered with a response no pet owner wants to hear "No" And I could barely utter the next two words "Go Ahead". </span><p><span style="font-family: helvetica;">I myself tell my kids if I am at a place in my life and I have no quality of life let me go. I have signed a living will so they are clear that's what I want. So if that's what I want for me I needed to give that gift to my furry child as well.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: helvetica;">The vet said he would make the same choice. A friend with me nodded her head in agreement. And my furry child died in my arms and took my heart with her. <br />As I write this the tears are rolling down my face and I am in so much emotional pain. More then I could have imagined. <br />Yet my mind told me I did the right thing, she had a rough ten days and had been having difficulties for a year before. One day she couldn't stand up. In the last couple weeks she had really gone down hill. Keeping her going was a selfish choice on my part, letting her go was an act of love.<br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: helvetica;">The journey of grieving began and I was about to learn an awful lot about grieving and the choices I made. <br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: helvetica;">I am going to insert some quotes. Most I found on Google/ This one was especially true and meaningful to me. </span><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEie2GR9eBgi0SwwrCMv6mUTXIeVEChnmekha8-9xqHOxT66VVMG3CJh9Pbsztx06g1R4MsX67IbCGxPRhfyUzyi9GVu8ZVbrgWfojvKJkZggBdJC59-9AERUfZ08dekcGcwdrxX9xNVajT5/s927/dog+quote+for+mary.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="927" data-original-width="618" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEie2GR9eBgi0SwwrCMv6mUTXIeVEChnmekha8-9xqHOxT66VVMG3CJh9Pbsztx06g1R4MsX67IbCGxPRhfyUzyi9GVu8ZVbrgWfojvKJkZggBdJC59-9AERUfZ08dekcGcwdrxX9xNVajT5/s320/dog+quote+for+mary.png" /></a></div><br /><p><br /></p>About Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09365410120003862020noreply@blogger.com0