Well her ashes are home and they are sitting in one of her favorite spots. She loved sitting on the back of the couch and watching for people and animals to bark at, It was like she was saying this is my street or don't come near the house I am protecting my mom. She was ferocious, and was annoyed the window was in the way. I always laughed at her tenaciousness. I think now, I should have video taped it. The woulda, coulda, shoulda's are tearing me apart some days. But in your heart of hearts you don't expect them to leave. I was in denial she would ever die, after all I took such good care of her. Sadly, I realize now, that was denial and a little part of me even wonders if I waited too long to let her go.
A friend told me last night when she brought her dogs ashes home she felt better. So I summoned the courage today to go get her ashes and I am very grateful to my friend for saying that because amazingly, I do feel better. I only had two crying episodes today and that was a small amount of progress.
I found an article today that I really liked on grieving the loss of a pet. I converted it to a pdf and gave credit to the author and the website where I found it. I hope if your grieving it offers you some comfort.
*** Well Blogger wouldn't let me up load the pdf easily so I put it on my website and I am going to give you a link to the file. Hope it works? Okay, it worked for me you may have to give it permission one more time.
https://www.byshashana.com/uploads/1/6/8/9/16890522/mourning_the_loss_of_your_pet.pdf
I also got a picture frame today to put her photo in and found a pretty poem about Pomeranian's that I will include in the frame. I write poetry so will eventually write my own poem to her, but for now I need to feel the pain and grieve. This blog is a catharsis, hmmm maybe writing a poem would be too? I will put her harness next to it and hopefully set up a little memorial for her on my shelf. Someone else had a small jar candle on the shelf. I am so grateful to all of you for sharing your pain and offering me ideas and words that encourage me to keep going, also heal and find small ways to honor her memory.
This is the first day I haven't spent a few hours crying, I think bringing her home really made a difference, I can still talk to her and keep her close and its a tangible object.
It was only June 7 she crossed the rainbow bridge and I hope it helps to hear someone elses journey and in some small way you are comforted and know you are not alone.
No comments:
Post a Comment